February 8, 2015

Lately we have had a lot of deaths in our church family and in the extended families of many members. It is a season of grief. At such times many of us wonder how we might respond appropriately when trying to convey our sympathies. As a result, during a recent Committee Night Worship, I asked those present to share what seems to work well when they are grieving and/or when they are comforting those in grief. Here are some of the responses: 1. Show how much you love them. Actions can speak louder than words. 2. Really listen to what the grieving person is trying to tell you. 3. Don’t be afraid to talk about the person who has died. 4. Relate stories, even the humorous ones. 5. Be a friend. Be present. 6. Send notes that the grieving can read when they are ready. 7. Make a phone call. 8. Invite the grieving to a lunch or dinner. It is hard to eat alone. 9. Give hugs. 10. Ask questions, share favorite memories. 11. Help the grieving keep busy. 12. Celebrate the legacy that the departed has left behind. 13. Tell about how that person has changed your life. 14. Celebrate anniversaries of the death of loved ones 15. Know that people grieve differently. Be attentive. 16. Don’t be afraid to cry. For those who grieve… know that grief is a natural response to loss. The grieving process takes time, yet there is no timetable to it. It takes what it takes… and part of what it takes is patience. Know that grief that is shared with others is more bearable. Draw upon the support of your church, turn to friends and family members, join a support group, talk to a pastor, Stephen Minister or a therapist. Some might feel like Job, who states, “My eye has grown dim from grief, and all my members are like a shadow” or Jeremiah who cries, “My joy is gone, grief is upon me, my heart is sick.” Yet many, like David, persevere to affirm, “By you my sorrow is turned into dancing; you have taken away my clothing of grief, and given me robes of joy.” May God be present in all our losses, all our grief. May this church be a place of support to the grieving. May we feel deeply and empathetically together, “bearing one another’s burdens and so fulfilling the law of Christ.” Blessings, Tim